Two things I am working on that are taking up my entire life:

First, I have been feeling like a terrible mom.  While working so hard to get Adam stabilized, I have let everything else go.  Sam and Sophie (when not doing schoolwork or P.E.) are on the computer and TV and not being productive.  Chores have not been done for months (and I am doing the work instead).  I feel like no one is listening to me and my house is generally out of control.  I am yelling a lot and parenting with emotion and not using logic.

So, Chad and I had a long discussion about it all and we came up with some ideas.  Reward for good behavior, removing the reward when there is bad behavior.  Extra reward if the original reward is earned and good behavior maintained all day.  For example:  We have 8 rules.  One of them is to listen and obey the first time.  The reward for keeping all the rules all day is "fun time"(video game, TV, and computer time), and if they earn all their "fun time" for the week then they get some $$$ (most kids get allowance anyway, mine don't).  We also came up with tons of money-earning chores.  With this money, they pay tithing, put half in savings, and get to spend the rest on whatever they want, including candy and junk food (I'm not buying anymore of it, I shouldn't be eating it anyway).
I hope it works.  And I hope I can remember it all because I am notoriously bad at parenting logically.  I usually work off emotion and it really doesn't work.  And I just find myself crying and complaining.  This will be a new experience for us all.  I fully expect Adam to have a huge hissy fit and push against every rule he can.  It will be miserable and I am not looking forward to it.  Groan.  But, here we go.

Second, I put on a lot of weight while struggling with Adam's stability.  I was stressed and emotional and in survival mode.  And really, I just barely got out of that mode about a week ago!  But, we have family pictures coming up and they will likely be the last ones for years because Meg is going on her mission, and then (hopefully) Adam will be going.  I do not want to be this fat for these pictures.  They will be hanging on our wall for years to come.  I have 8 weeks, and I want to lose as much as I can in those 8 weeks.  I also want to be able to run again.  I have had second and third opinions and also visited a good sports chiropractor, and the theory is that if I really work on strengthening my core (even when I was thin, I never worked on my core), then it will be able to prop up my back better and keep the nerve from being pinched.  So I hired a trainer and told her that I need to work on core strength, and I need her to check in with me every day to make sure I am getting some cardio in, and counting my calories properly.  She isn't overly enthusiastic (not a good cheerleader), so I don't think I will stay with her when my contract runs out.  But hopefully by then we will have made some serious progress and I will be able to continue what she has taught me.  I won't run until I have lost at least 25 lbs.  I don't want to injure the back again.  That will take up all of those 8 weeks and probably more.  Maybe by summer, I will be able to run a little bit.    But a little bit is better than none.  I loved running.  I miss it so bad, mentally and physically!  I really hope this plan works!  I've been doing it for a week, and I lost 6 lbs (!!!) last week.  Giddy up, Laura, here we go!  

Now, if only Adam would get completely stable and be able to function normally.  Our biggest problem with him right now is his jerk-ness.  And how to tell if it is the bipolar or just a teenager with a very bad attitude.  Very difficult.

Wish me luck!