Racism

I got a letter from Meg today, this was the first sentence, "So now that I have a new companion, I feel comfortable telling you about what a trial my trainer was."  She went on to describe treatment that makes me want to find that companion and punch her in the face.  Meg found out from her Bishop's wife that her trainer was talking such trash about Meg, especially about her being a palangi (white person).  She wouldn't help Meg learn Fijian because she didn't want her to understand all the garbage she was saying about her.  Right in front of her face, to members and investigators alike.  The Bishop's wife went on to tell Meg that the reason the missionaries didn't get any support from the ward members was because of that trainer - they knew what she was and that she didn't have the Spirit with her.  They felt sorry for Megan but they wouldn't allow that companion in their homes!  She was disobedient of the missionary rules, and just downright ugly and mean to Megan.  So Megan, in her effort to create a better environment, began serving this trainer like she has never served anyone before.  As I read her list, of the things she did for this trainer, I felt like she was taken advantage of, and really, treated like a slave.  Right down to carrying the trainer's backback for her, giving the trainer her jacket when it started raining, cooking for her, bringing her breakfast in bed.  Complimenting her, telling her she loved her, doing everything she could to make that trainer like her.  But Meg lost herself a little.  And then she had to learn to find herself in the Lord.  She said that sleep was her only refuge and prayer her only comfort.  She said that the past three months were the hardest she has ever experienced, but "I wouldn't change them, because I have learned and grown so much.  I don't feel like a kid anymore, I feel like a woman.  You grow up fast on a mission."
I have heard that there is a problem with racism in these S. Pacific islands.  The natives throw those racist terms (whitey, palangi, howlie) around all the time, and make fun of whites.  How sad, that Meg's very first experience in the mission field was with a completely racist trainer.  And no wonder there are so few palangi sister missionaries in Fiji.
The mission pres. knew some of this stuff, but not all of it.  Meg talked to him and he gave her a blessing.  But he didn't transfer either one of them until two weeks ago.  There must have been a good reason why.  My heart aches for Meg - she would never have put up with being treated that way here at home!  But she was brand new in a completely foreign country, doing her very best to serve the Lord and bring some semblance of Spirit into that companionship.  I feel horrible thinking about what she must have felt!  She has been and will be blessed for those hellish 3 months.  But man!  It makes me mad! Really really mad!  At least she got a wonderful new companion who has her back now.  And at least she got that trial by fire over at the very beginning of her mission.  And at least she has the ward members back on her side and willing to work with her.

I can't write any of this stuff on her blog.  It is completely public and will probably be read by other missionaries or their families who know this trainer.  But I'm pretty sure this blog is only read by my family and friends, so I feel free to post this here.

This brother and sister

I was looking for a picture of Adam and Megan together that I could put on my wall, and realized that we had none.  So I did some cropping, and this was what I came up with.  I emailed Meg and asked her if it was creepy and made them look like a couple, and she said, 

"No it doesn't look creepy!  I love this picture because 

I love that kid so much."

And Adam actually admitted out loud that Megan is the best friend he has ever had.

I'm pretty sure that says it all.

A really good hug

Sometimes, right before Adam leaves for seminary, right after we have prayer together, I wrap my arms around Adam and hug him tight.  And he hugs back.  And I say, "I love you son".  And he says, "you too".  And then he walks out the door.

In all truth, the hug probably happens because the kid is so tired that he can hardly hold himself up, and it gives him a chance to rest on me for a few seconds.  But I'll take it!  Any other time of the day, if I try to touch him, Adam flinches away.  Teenage son, or bipolar, I will probably never know.  But I'll tell you what, I enjoy that rare hug.

I've been stressing about this for months...

I don't know if I am just hyper-sensitive about this but I keep seeing serious modesty issues running rampant through our YW program.  Mostly in the length of the skirts.  I have heard the YM commenting on it - because I have two sons, and because my hubby is the Priest quorum advisor.  It is bothering grown men too.  This worries me.  After all, my second calling is as a group leader of the pornography family support group (for wives, girlfriends of porn addicts).   I hear such sad stories, over and over again about these men who are trying so hard to overcome a serious addiction, think that they are going to be "safe" at church, and find that they can't escape it there either.  Some people say "Those perverts just need to keep their eyes in their heads and stop looking!  Their problems are not the women's problems!"  Ok, in a perfect world, that would be totally correct.  But this is not a perfect world, men are hard-wired differently than women (and they are not perverts.  period.), and frankly, what are the women (girls) thinking will happen when dressed immodestly?!  Why do they dress immodestly in the first place?  For attention.  Duh.
So anyway, I have discussed the situation with all the appropriate leaders, and although there is general agreement, the biggest concern is that if we preach too much modesty, the girls will get offended and quit coming to church.  This is a legitimate concern.  So you can see my dilemma.  Luckily, I am not the leader directly over the worst offenders.  I have beautiful Beehives, who are still young and innocent enough that they can be taught.  Most of them have older sisters that dress immodestly though.  So they won't get support from their moms (don't get me started on those moms.  many of them have temple recommends and should know better than to encourage their daughters to wear clothes like that, especially to church.  but whatever.  I can't do anything about that.)
So I have been praying, praying, praying.  How to teach modesty to these young girls without offending them.  And one morning I woke up with a flash of inspiration.  Have a special Beehive activity celebrating women, what it means to be a woman in God's plan, how to respect our womanhood and use it to uplift people around us.  NO ONE could get offended about that.  Celebrating being a girl?  PERFECT!  I decided to have it at my house, decorate the heck out of it, serve girly refreshments, and find a great guest speaker who could teach it.  So then I started praying about who that guest speaker could be.  And the next morning I woke up with a name on my mind and a warm, positive feeling in my heart about having this one woman who had just moved into our ward.  She has two daughters in our YW, both of them are awesome young ladies who dress modestly and stand for truth and righteousness.  Clearly their mom has it going on.  Plus, she comes from a family full of girls who I know from my own YW days to be awesome young women too.  I ran the idea by my advisor, she enthusiastically agreed, so I called this woman.  She enthusiastically agreed too.  I gave her a couple of conference talks to base it on, and specifically mentioned that she could include how to behave like a lady and dress modestly, use clean language, and not base self-esteem on popularity or looks.  And trusted in the Lord that whatever she said would be what girls needed to hear.  I have been so excited about this activity!  But also stressed and worried, which is just who I am.
I spent all day yesterday baking and decorating my house.  And praying.  And all but one girl showed up!  And my guest speaker did a phenomenal job.  And she spent a good 25 minutes talking very openly about modesty.  She talked about how modesty is more than just how you dress.  It is in your heart and head, and how willing you are to be a Woman of God.  She then showed examples of how to modify dresses to be modest.  She gave them a list of websites where they could find really attractive and up to date modest dresses.  She made them a handout - a framed picture of the temple that they could hang next to their closets to look at before they picked out an outfit for the day.  She knocked it out of the park.  In short, I LOVED IT!!!

Its interesting what happens when we pray for help in our callings.  I know Heavenly Father loves those precious Beehives because His hand was in this activity from the beginning.  I love having prayers answered.  Again.

Finally!

So last night I spent 4 hours hitting refresh on my email.  Waiting for Meg to email.  I hoped that since I was SOO patient last week (haha) that we would be rewarded with a nice long letter.  Welllll...nothing. Finally at about 8:00, Chad called the mission pres.  He told us that he knew Sister Wright was ok since he had received an email from her 3 hours earlier that day.  (!!!)  And that he would try to contact her.  About 10 minutes later, we got her letter.  She said that her pres. had just called her and please stop calling him.  And just because she hasn't emailed doesn't mean she is dead.  Ha!  And of course, "I love love love you for caring so much about me".  Stinker.  And in her letter she told why she hadn't called us last week, you can click on the link on the sidebar.  It had nothing to do with internet glitches or sick companions or transfers.  It had to do with loving her investigators and being busy helping one of them recover from a tragic experience.  Which is wonderful and the fact that she was so involved that she forgot/ran out of time to email, that is good.  I did, however, send her a short email asking for just a two word email when she sends her email to her pres.  "I'm fine".  That's all I need every week.  Surely that isn't too much to ask.  So anyway, I am feeling fine about her and a little chastised (but who cares, she was about to blow us off again this week!!!).  And I would contact the pres. again anytime...except now, I have his email address, muahaha!  Because he emailed us to let us know she was ok, and also to thank us for sending such an excellent missionary.  So...that little phone call was worth it in many ways!

I didn't call

So yeah.  I am feeling better about not hearing from Meg.  Prayer helps.  Also I remembered that she has been complaining about the computer service for the past month.  No pictures, she lost an entire email, and she hasn't been getting some of our emails.  Like, they are lost in cyberspace.  So, I'm thinking that may be what happened.  Hopefully we will get one this week.  But, meanwhile, I am feeling at peace and busy with other things.  I know that she is ok.  That is an answer to prayers...man, there have been so many answers to prayers!  I have the strongest testimony of prayer!  So, so grateful.

It's my blog, I'm allowed to whine a little

So, no email from Meg this P-day.  I have heard from other missionary moms that this sometimes happens when their missionaries are serving in the bush (or on tiny islands out in the middle of the ocean) but not in Suva, the biggest city in Fiji!  So I don't know what is going on.  My first thought is that her companion was too sick to leave the flat.  Her companion does have health problems.  My second guess is that her companion (or maybe Meg) called an emergency meeting with the ZL's, DL's, or Pres. Klingler for some reason.  Maybe Meg, in her outspoken way, offended a ward member and got tattled on.  Maybe there were just a bunch of meetings that she had to go to.  It wasn't time for transfers, and it wasn't time for a new intake.  So I'm pretty sure it wasn't because of that.  I checked the weather - no hurricane or monsoon that would knock out the internet service.
Of course I am worried.  What mom wouldn't be?!  If I don't hear from her today then I will call the mission office.  I haven't called them since Meg (or the pres.) didn't email to let me know she arrived safely (and I know some of the elders did get to send off an email, so we were entitled)...so I can't be called "That Mom", can I?  I wish I just had an email address for the mission couple.  That would be the easiest and least embarrassing way to contact the mission office.  Maybe when I call today I can ask for that.  I will promise not to send a lot of emails!  After all, I only want emails from my missionary!
I am the lousiest missionary mom on this planet.  Most of the ones that I talk to are blasé about their missionaries - not keeping daily track of how long they've been gone and not obsessing about their emails...Or maybe that is just what they say.  I don't know.  I just know that I miss her and I worry about her in that unfamiliar place.  Her letters are not always very upbeat and that worries me too.  I REALLY hope that I'm having a harder time than she is!  That is my prayer.